dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
