she was so not down for the gang bang
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
