after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
