put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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