I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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