shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize