Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
that's an acceptable place to lick
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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