Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
