My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
