I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
