Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
