How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
