You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
