And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
