Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
