I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
only if we run a train.
done.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
