Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
