My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if you like me you must not know who I am
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
