I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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