I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
