Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
