I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
