do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
