Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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