There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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