Can Purell be used as lube?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
