I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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