just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
