i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
