Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
