Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
