is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
