Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
