JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
