I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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