It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We are all done wearing pants today
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
