i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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