is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
