the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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