she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
