Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
