Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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