im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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