it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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