i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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