What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
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My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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