Please, let me fuck your mom
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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