shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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