true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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