No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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