God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need water and some morals
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
