On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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