dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
