So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he shaved USA in his pubs
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
