So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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