I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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